Veritable jubilee

"Hello, Tab. I was in Hollywood recently. I drove my car into a palm tree and twelve guys fell out. They all looked exactly like you. Norman Rockwell soda jerks."
"Hello, Warren."
"When I called before, your secretary said you were in the office commiting suicide. I called back hoping I'd be the lasto person to speak to you alive. Warren Beasley, the controversial radio personality, was probably the last person to talk to the popular young television executive. Mr. Beasley said that Bell, twenty-eight, had been despondent over the loss of his old fielder's glove. The deceased bore a strong facial resemblance to a number of Hollywood stars known for their interchangeability. His body will be sent airmail express to the West Coast for possible casting in s new movie spectacular based on the siege of Leninegrad."
"You sound as morbidly chipper as ever" I said.
"I'm calling to invite you to my wedding. If all precedents hold, the honeymoon promises to be a veritable jubilee of ejaculatio praecox."

Don DeLillo, Americana

[Sérgio Lavos]

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